FOOD FOR THOUGHT?

"DEATH BED LAWYER"


Why was the lawyer skimming the
BIBLE right before he died?

Because he was looking for a "LOOPHOLE"

Marta Chaves said: Why do people suck in their stomachs
when the weigh themselfs? So they can see the scale!

"3-BABIES IN A WOMANS TUMMY".......

There was this woman pregnant with three babies....

The first one said: "When I grow up
I am going to be a Electrician, because it too dark in here!


The second one said: "When I grow up I'm going to be a DOCTOR,
because this CORD is killing me!"

The third one said: "When I grow up
I'm going to be a HUNTER, because
if that damm snake comes in here one more time,
I'LL CHOP OFF IT'S HEAD!"

POLI-TICKS:

POLI=MANY

TICKS=A BLOODSUCKING PARASITIES

Hope you enjoyed todays entries;
be back tomro the Lord willing!

Have a good one!
DEAN

"A VERY SUCCESFUL LAWYER".......

A very successful lawyer parked
his brand new Lexus in front of his office, to show
it off to his collleagues. As he got out , a truck passed
too close and tore off the door on the drivers side.
The lawyer immedialely grabbed
his cell phone and dial 911.
Within minutes a policeman pulled up.
Before he had a chance to ask any questions,
the lawyer began screaming histerically.
"His Lexus, which he had just
picked up from the dealer yesterday, was completly
ruined, no matter what the body shop did to it!"
When the lawyer finaly wound down from

his ranting and raving.

The officer shook his head in disbeief.
"I can't believe how materlalistic you
lawyers are." the cop said, "You're so focused on
your possesions that you didn't notice anything else."
"How can you say such a thing?"
asked the lawyer.
The cop replied,
"Don't you know your ARM IS MISSING
FROM THE ELBOW DOWN, it must have been
TORE off when that truck hit you."
"MY GOD!" screamed the
lawyer, "MY ROLEX!"



your friend

HERE'S SOME
"WORDS OF WISDOM OR ARE THEY??!!??//
EARTH IS THE INSANE ASYLUM
FOR THE REST OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!???????>>>><<<<

"THE GOLF GENIE"

A husband and wife out enjoying a round of golf,
were about to tee off on the 3rd hole, which
was lined with beautiful homes.
The wife took the shot and the ball began to slice.
Her shot was headed directly at a very large plate
glass window.
Much to her suprise the ball smashed
through the window and shattered it into a million pieces.

They felt compelled to see what damage was done.
So they drove off to see what happened.
When they peeked inside they found no one was home.
The husband called out and no one answered.

Upon further investigation, they saw a small
gentlemen sitting on a coutch with a turban on his head.
The wife asked the man,"Do you live here?"
"No, someone just hit a ball through the window
freeing me from that little bottle, I am so greatful!"
The wife asked, "Are you a genie?
Oh, why yes I am."
"In fact I am so greatful, I am going to grant you two wishes,
the third I will keep for my self." The man replied.
The husband and wife agreed.
The first wish was for a Scatch handicap
for the husband. To the wife readily agreed.
The second wish was for 1,000,000,00
a year forever!
"DONE!" The genie nodded his head.
The gentleman now said,"For my wish,
I like to have my way with your wife,
I haven't been with a woman for many years,
and after all I made you
a scatch golfer and a Millionaire.
The husband and wife agreed.

After the Genie and wife were finished, the genie asked
the wife "How long have you two been married?"
To which she responded,"3-years."
The genie said, "How old is your husband?
"31," She replied.
"And how long has he believed in this
GENIE CRAP!!??..........

YOUR FRIEND
DEAN!

"THE HOMEWORK ASSIGNMENT"

A kinder-garden class had a homeworkassignment
to find out something exciting, and related it
to the class the next day.

The next day when it became time to present
what they found,the little boy walked
up to the front of the class, placed a small white dot
on the blackboard, and then sat back down.
Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was.

"It's a period." said the little boy.

"I can see that!" said the teacher.
"What's so exciting about a period?"

"Dammed if I know;" said the little boy.
"But this morning my sister was missing one,
Daddy had a heart attack,
Mommy fainted,
and the man next door shot himself!"

YOUR FRIEND
DEAN.

please note, because of problems staying connected,
I am going to stop the use of my smileys, sorry!